This is not about physical pain stemming from a medical condition—you can talk to your medical doctor about that. Emotional pain is the worst. And the number one go-to strategy to deal with it is often avoidance. Something happens to trigger the onset of emotional pain like a failed relationship, a demanding boss, someone else’s…
Details
Such great news! Especially since no one is perfect . . . and we all want a happy marriage. Even though you don’t have to be perfect, there are habits (i.e., thoughts + behaviors + attitudes: times two) required to get you to, and keep you in, that happy place. Are you in the habit…
Details
With many counseling goals, a discussion of what you believe will need to be addressed at some point. Many believe in God, a Higher Power, or karma. Even if someone identifies as an atheist, there are things they believe to be true about life and how the world works. Most folks have faith the sun…
Details
Like a moth drawn to a flame . . . Have you ever repeatedly made choices you regretted—like dating the same type of person again and again with the same problematic results—but you weren’t sure why? Or maybe you have repeatedly re-experienced the same life dilemma—like often feeling rejected or feeling like you can never…
Details
To understand how not to kill the mood, let’s first consider the more effective ways to kill it as witnessed through the lens of marriage counseling. Being demanding—a spouse who is sullen and/or grouchy pressuring the other to have sex more often is probably the fastest and most effective way to kill the mood for…
Details
This is a word of encouragement to those individuals who struggle with especially difficult traumatic memories from the past. For anyone who has lived through an especially difficult or even life-threatening situation, it’s bad enough to have had to endure it the first time. The problem with these especially difficult and/or traumatic memories is…
Details
This dynamic is frequently seen with couples in marriage counseling. It is a serious threat to the longevity of the marriage. At the same time, it’s relatively quick and easy to remedy in counseling. The wife shows up in my office frustrated and upset because she feels overwhelmed. She feels like her husband…
Details